New Life for a Sinner

By Angela Wittman

Chris and Matt - my boys. Love, Mom

This winter season is proving to be a time of reflection and while I understand the need to occasionally take stock of one's life and review the past, the time spent before I became a follower of Christ holds regret.

As a mother I fondly remember my sons as little boys who would pick their mommy dandelions and proclaim they wanted to marry someone like me. But, even those memories are tinged with regret as I didn't raise my sons in church, nor did I teach them about Jesus Christ. So, for me the past is bittersweet and yet, I see the good Lord's grace and care of me and my loved ones even when I did not know Him.

I can remember wanting to pray, but not knowing how to or if the Lord would hear my prayers. I had been baptized as a teenager, but fell away from the church and didn't understand how I could be forgiven of my sins. I thought I needed to "clean myself up" before I could even attend church, much less become a Christian! I felt I was doomed for all eternity because I just couldn't get the burden of sin off my back. I knew I was failing my children and husband due to my misery, but my mind was darkened and I didn't know the light of the Gospel.

I'm not even quite sure how the good Lord broke through my darkness, as it was a gradual process. I can only describe it as the blind man whose sight the good Lord healed as told in the Gospel of Mark, chapter 8:

23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
24 And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.
25 After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly.

So, for my sons, I'm so very sorry I let you down in those early years, but please know I love you both more than life and the good Lord has been gracious toward us all throughout your lives. Please know that I pray for you both with the hope that God hears a mother's prayer and that the tears I cry on your behalf are precious in His sight.

And for the reader who might be feeling lost and unworthy of God's love as I did: Ask the good Lord to forgive your sins, trust that He will and begin reading the Bible. You can start with the Gospel of John and the Psalms. If you don't know where to find a church, contact me and I'll make some inquiries on your behalf. I know this is a big step for you, but friend, I've walked it before you and I would be more than happy to help you find your way.

In Lord Jesus Name, I pray, amen.

* I came across this video earlier today and think it's a wonderful testimony to share!