Skip to main content

Reflections on Patriarchy and Homeschool Movements

By Angela Wittman


Dear friends, 

While it is a new year and a time for reflection, here are my thoughts on the patriarchy and homeschool movements. 

I wasn't part of the movement as Providence didn't allow me to go that way, but I had many friends who were part of it and I often grieved that my family wasn't as "perfect" as I thought theirs appeared to be. You see, I became a Christian as an adult (approximately 22 years ago) and was not raised in a Christian home.  My mother had been badly abused by her first husband, a youth minister, and was bitter toward the church. My father still laughs as he tells the story of taking me to church as a child on Easter; the pastor asked him if we attended church regularly, to which I replied "Yes sir! We go every Easter!" 

My parents then separated when I was 9 years old, got back together, had a stormy relationship and then finally divorced when I was grown. Yet, through the grace of God, I had some knowledge of Him from my Christian Grandmother (on my mother's side) and then as a teen I began attending a neighborhood church. I eventually met and married my husband, who had a much more stable upbringing.

The early years of our marriage were focused on owning a home and raising our sons. I fell away from attending church and actually became quite miserable and overburdened with unrepentant sin. When my sons reached their early teens, a friend who had become a recent convert to Christianity invited me to church. As I began thinking of a polite way to refuse, a thought occurred to me that this might be my last chance to get right with God, so I accepted her invitation and was soon reborn into the Christian faith which I accepted wholeheartedly. However, my husband did not accept it and our marriage was a bit rough for a decade or so.

During these early years of my conversion, I would often compare my circumstances to those of my friends who appeared to have perfect marriages, husbands, children and who were pioneers in the homeschool movement. Frankly, I felt inferior, yet I continued to pray and hope my circumstances would change.

Then as the children of the homeschool pioneers became of age, some rebelled and fell victim to the ungodly culture in America, just as my sons had done. Oh, how my heart grieves for those children whose parents sacrificed so much to raise them the best way they knew how. And sadly, now I'm reading testimonies from some of the pioneering women who appear to be having grave doubts about the way they raised their children.

Perhaps these families could use a bit of encouragement from one who watched and admired their families? None of us are perfect and while your children may have succumbed to the surrounding culture after you did everything in your power to raise them as disciples of Christ, the story isn't over yet! Yes, they might be in open rebellion against everything you taught them, but as long as there is breath in their lungs, there is still hope. We serve a living, sovereign God and frankly, He's the Author and Finisher of their faith. So, please take heart while continuing to pray for your children, and thank the good Lord for helping you to see where you might have gone wrong and how to make amends.

May the good Lord bless His people in the coming year, and help us to encourage and love one another. In Lord Jesus' Name, I pray, amen.

Comments

  1. Replies
    1. You're welcome, Jacob! I think it's time for both children and parents to extend grace to each other. :)

      Delete
  2. Thank you for sharing this. It's always hard to share personal hurts. Your family's experiences, and the homeschoolers', shows that appearances can be deceiving and we are all (myself certainly included) in need of a personal relationship with God by accepting Jesus as our Savior.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen! Thank you for reading and commenting. May the good Lord bless you!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

All Time Favorites

A discerning look at 'Biblical Patriarchy' and those who abuse it

By Angela Wittman While much of what Doug Phillips teaches regarding Patriarchy sounds biblical, because of the lack of practical application, his teachings are often taken to extremes. Sometimes, men just hear his vision of men always “leading,” and they become domineering and demanding, causing undue stress on the wife. I know of one family that divorced precisely because of hearing this teaching and not understanding what it really should be. Sometimes, men will try to emulate what they see in Doug Phillips, and start requiring their families to have all the same rules as the Phillips. Unfortunately, if there are no personal convictions behind the rules, they soon become extremely oppressive and smother the family. Some men just have no clue about how to “lead” their families; they just know that it’s being constantly preached at them from the pulpit. Having come from a home without a godly leader, these men need lots of practical examples. (Taken from: Doug Phillips’ Kangaroo Court

A discerning look at Ted Weiland's "Bible Law vs. the United States Constitution: The Christian Perspective"

By Angela Wittman I believe I have found within the Scriptures the key to what made America great, and this key can restore her to her former greatness. - Ted Weiland, ( Bible Law vs. the United States Constitution; The Christian Perspective , http://www.bibleversusconstitution.org/BlvcOnline/biblelaw-constitutionalism-preface.html) A couple of years ago Ted Weiland contacted me and asked if he might send me his primer on  Bible Law vs. the United States Constitution: The Christian Perspective . After receiving and reviewing the primer, I decided to toss it in the trash due to the concern that Mr. Weiland was missing a foundational point - Biblical covenanting.  And after recently reviewing his work in greater detail, I believe the reformed and theonomic community should be cautious about Mr. Weiland's book and his beliefs. Due to some glaring "red flags" I encountered while researching Mr. Weiland, I've decided to write this warning and state my concerns. First of a

'Of Saving Faith'

The Westminster Confession of Faith Chapter XIV Of Saving Faith I. The grace of faith, whereby the elect are enabled to believe to the saving of their souls, [1] is the work of the Spirit of Christ in their hearts, [2] and is ordinarily wrought by the ministry of the Word, [3] by which also, and by the administration of the sacraments, and prayer, it is increased and strengthened. [4] II. By this faith, a Christian believes to be true whatsoever is revealed in the Word, for the authority of God himself speaking therein; [5] and acts differently upon that which each particular passage thereof contains; yielding obedience to the commands, [6] trembling at the threatenings, [7] and embracing the promises of God for this life, and that which is to come. [8] But the principal acts of saving faith are accepting, receiving, and resting upon Christ alone for justification, sanctification, and eternal life, by virtue of the covenant of grace. [9] III. This faith is differ

Alzheimer's Disease, Adultery and God's Word

By Angela Wittman "When B. and I realized what we're dealing with and she understood what the situation is, she said to me… 'I know what I have. I know where it's gonna take me. Tell the story. Tell the truth,'" Gasby recounted.  In January, he spoke that truth — and let cameras into his home. It's a home he shares with his wife and his girlfriend, Alex Lerner, who also has a bedroom in the house and helps with B.'s care.  Yesterday morning I happened to catch the segment  Falling in love while caring for your spouse with Alzheimer's disease   that aired on CBS This Morning. . I watched in amazement as two men whose wives had Alzheimer's Disease (one wife is now deceased) openly discussed having adulterous relationships with other women. Is this now to become a new norm? These men and women feel they shouldn't be judged, and shockingly the news anchors interviewing them seemed to agree. My father has Alzheimer's Disease and w

A Discerning Look at the Christian Pro-life Movement in America

By Angela Wittman Can two walk together except they be agreed? - Amos 3:3, 1599 Geneva Bible First of all, may the Reader be aware that I've been a part of the pro-life movement since becoming a Christian in 1993. In fact, the right to life of the preborn and my complicit silence to their murder is the very first sin the good Lord brought to my attention after my conversion to Christ. The knowledge that as an unbeliever I had bloodguilt on my hands for not speaking up for the preborn burnt like a hot knife into the very depth of my being. But I also had true joy and freedom due to the knowledge that I was now a new creation in Christ and I could repent of that sin - and repent I did! I immediately began attending local meetings for the Christian Coalition and a local RTL group. I quickly became involved in the movement and traveled to the State House in Illinois to speak on behalf of the preborn and to Washington DC for the annual Roe v. Wade marches. My activities included campaig